this comic originally had dromiceiomimus saying “What if you look in the mirror and see flaws so fundamental that they can’t be changed?  What if you see nothing but a big pile of flaws?” and then I was like, “man, I don’t know the answer to that!!  looks like it’s time for another PANTS-CENTRIC REWRITE”

(via qwantz)

Honestly, what couldn’t use a pants-centric rewrite once in awhile?

3. Steal Cheryl’s famous potato-salad recipe. When Cheryl asks, “Why did you steal my recipe?,” say, “I don’t know, Cheryl, why did you break my heart?” Then laugh so she knows you’re just kidding.

Melissa sent me this link. Quality.

jlovely:

treee:elpy:uprightcitizens:cyborglovesong:

Seth Meyers: On Friday, President Obama appeared before house republicans  in a historic televised Q & A and performed so well that afterwards, GOP aides said that allowing the cameras to roll like that was a mistake. Come on, Republicans, are you on such a Scott Brown high that you thought you could take down Barack Obama by debating him? You realize debates are why he’s president, right? Seriously, all you guys do is complain about how Obama is all talk, and then you invite him to a forum that’s literally all talk. That’s like saying “Let’s see how tough Aquaman is when we get him in the water!” I’m not saying you were outclassed, but the whole thing was like the scene in Raiders of The Lost Ark when the guy charged Indy with a sword and he just shot him.

m-shapes:

krakenfromthesea:

thedailywhat:

Superpoop.

Various Photoshop edits of a USPS safety handout on customers needing to keep their dogs restrained.

Viewer discretion is advised, etc. (via somethingawful)

Darth Vader In Love

(via this guy I’ve never met before at church)

embracingthemelody:

krakenfromthesea:

littlelostgirl:

tschad:

imgfave

hahahaha [tschad probably thinks I’m a creeper for all of these reblogs XD]

aww dem poor dinos.

thedailywhat:

Pie Chart of the Day: They may also have a few choice words for Monday.

[via.]

scout:

asleepyhead:

(via spot-on)

YES

YES

A+++

Hah. Really?

three50eight:

Nobody wants to high five because the swine flu will KILL YOU, so here are some alternatives.  Complete with pictures.

I’m a firm believer in the Snap and Flick.

I love Stephen Colbert.

In this video, Colbert pitches Prescott Pharmaceuticals’ newest smokeless tobacco product, “Vax-Anus”, to compete with Camel’s “Snus”.

sometimes i imagine he and mom fight about me at night (via qwantz)

it turns out i can’t even see straight with these heart-shaped pupils (via qwantz)

scout:

thedailywhat:

President Obama Calling Kanye West A Jackass of the Day: Leave it to TMZ to obtain the audio of Obama’s now-infamous off-the-record “jackass” remark made just prior to an interview with CNBC.

This is everything I hoped it would be.

[via.]

“Cut the president some slack.” so good.

Gold.

jorgerodriguez:

Sesame Street Martians discover radio.

Pure comedy gold.