Patrick's Tumblog
qwantzfeed:

the more i think about it the more it seems god powers are a pretty sweet deal.  i guess this thought has been had before?

in looking up the colour mummy brown i found many people (moms?) calling themselves “mummy brown” and that’s gross, moms

(via qwantz)

in looking up the colour mummy brown i found many people (moms?) calling themselves “mummy brown” and that’s gross, moms

(via qwantz)

qwantzfeed:

PS: I was actually this rhetorical dude, who has never really paid attention in “What to put in your belly” classes!!
It’s horses all the way down!

It’s horses all the way down!

qwantzfeed:

T-REX WHEN YOU SAY “I LIKE GAMES THAT ARE FUN” WHAT DOES THAT MEAN BECAUSE IT SOUNDS TO ME LIKE IT MEANS “SOMETIMES MY OPINIONS MAKE MY FRIENDS MAD AND I THINK I’M DOING IT ON PURPOSE”
qwantzfeed:

the comma in panel two: EXTREMELY IMPORTANT
Okay, one more.

utahraptor feels bad about running roughshod all over t-rex in this comic, because that refers to LITERALLY RUNNING SOMEONE OVER WITH A HORSE THAT HAS NAILS STICKING OUT OF ITS FEET

Okay, one more.

utahraptor feels bad about running roughshod all over t-rex in this comic, because that refers to LITERALLY RUNNING SOMEONE OVER WITH A HORSE THAT HAS NAILS STICKING OUT OF ITS FEET


every time i wanted to type “fried chicken” in this comic, I first typed “friend chicken”. every single time! apparently i was hypnotized and the only suggestion they planted was “ryan, chickens equal friends”

I completely understand menstruation now. It’s just like the fried chicken cycle.

every time i wanted to type “fried chicken” in this comic, I first typed “friend chicken”. every single time! apparently i was hypnotized and the only suggestion they planted was “ryan, chickens equal friends”

I completely understand menstruation now. It’s just like the fried chicken cycle.


i spent quite some time deciding between “TOOT TOOT” and “TOOT TOOTS AHOY” as the final line of this comic.  this is my JOB.

i spent quite some time deciding between “TOOT TOOT” and “TOOT TOOTS AHOY” as the final line of this comic.  this is my JOB.


after i wrote this comic i realized hummingbirds are basically like the movie “crank”.  that movie is way better than you probably think it is, but the sequel is way worse than you can ever imagine (via qwantz)

after i wrote this comic i realized hummingbirds are basically like the movie “crank”.  that movie is way better than you probably think it is, but the sequel is way worse than you can ever imagine (via qwantz)


friiiiiiiiiiig how embarrassiiiiiiiiing
(via qwantz)

Nice one, T-Rex.

friiiiiiiiiiig how embarrassiiiiiiiiing

(via qwantz)

Nice one, T-Rex.


utahraptor your epitaph makes me want to die RIGHT NOW so i can use it before anyone else!  I LOVE BEING ALIVE, HOW DID YOU PULL THIS OFF?? (via qwantz)

Nice.

utahraptor your epitaph makes me want to die RIGHT NOW so i can use it before anyone else!  I LOVE BEING ALIVE, HOW DID YOU PULL THIS OFF?? (via qwantz)

Nice.


WHILE YOU EAT, LET’S HAVE A CONVERSATION ABOUT THE NATURE OF CONSENT
(via qwantz)

WHILE YOU EAT, LET’S HAVE A CONVERSATION ABOUT THE NATURE OF CONSENT

(via qwantz)


dude, my nostalgia’s so layered that photoshop crashes whenever i open the file
(via qwantz)

dude, my nostalgia’s so layered that photoshop crashes whenever i open the file

(via qwantz)

FACT.  in fact, that is the world’s first recorded instance of an ULTRA-FACT.(via qwantz)

FACT.  in fact, that is the world’s first recorded instance of an ULTRA-FACT.

(via qwantz)