i’m new to making threats. how did i do?

(via qwantz)

this comic originally had dromiceiomimus saying “What if you look in the mirror and see flaws so fundamental that they can’t be changed?  What if you see nothing but a big pile of flaws?” and then I was like, “man, I don’t know the answer to that!!  looks like it’s time for another PANTS-CENTRIC REWRITE”

(via qwantz)

Honestly, what couldn’t use a pants-centric rewrite once in awhile?

the real question is why strongmen don’t wear clothing scaled to their physique, only the incredible hulk has a plausible excuse and even HE takes care of it when it comes to his party shorts

(via qwantz)

words not in my spell-check that are now in my spell-check, thanks to this comic: “assingest”

(via qwantz)

This makes paying bills so much more exciting. Kind of.

please don’t actually use this card to propose marriage, i, ryan north, internet cartoonist guy, am begging you

(via qwantz)

Dromeciomimus knows what’s going on in panel 3.

“welp” is like when you say “well”, but with that bit of a cut-off at the end as you press your lips together.  i wish there was a better way to write that word, you’d know it if you heard it, it’s a VOICELESS BILABIAL PLOSIVE

(via qwantz)

I attach the following, in which I talk to Ryan North of Dinosaur Comics fame via Twitter, and he changes the alt-text to include my input!

In conclusion, I’m a pretty rad dude, hoopy frood, etc.

Seriously, though, if you’re not following Dinosaur Comics, you’re missing out on an incredibly awesome corner of the Internet.

the price of helium has more than doubled in the past decade, our children’s children will pay a high premium to have their voices sound briefly yet hilariously squeaky

(via qwantz)

also if you die without any ID on you except for this comic, it’ll be used to try to identify you.  “frig, guess he liked giraffes” they’ll say (via qwantz)

if you think it’s so dogs can drink from the toilet, dogs can learn to use the faucet instead!  now THAT is a future worth fighting for, my friends

(via qwantz)

This one is goes out to Caitlin, because she loves poop.

oh my goodness this comic is so dumb, WHY DO I LIKE IT SO MUCH

(via qwantz)

i didn’t say to get rid of it though, let us - let us see where this road leads

that’s newton’s third law-o-motion (via qwantz)

And let’s also say that “Person A” and “Person B” are their actual, legal names.  Does that change anything?

(via qwantz)

sometimes i imagine he and mom fight about me at night (via qwantz)

it turns out i can’t even see straight with these heart-shaped pupils (via qwantz)