It’s Thursday. It’s almost 4:30.
She’s almost off work. I’m
Not calling her, telling her I’ll be
There in 11 minutes. I’m not
Going to be pulling up in front
Of her workplace to pick her up
And eat dinner with her.

This isn’t how it’s supposed to be.

We’re not driving back to her house
After we eat. We’re not going
On a walk this evening, taking
Advantage of the cool day. We aren’t
Going to play Boggle or cuddle
Up together in her cold basement
And watch a movie.

This isn’t how it’s supposed to be.

I’m not going to tell her goodnight.
I’m not going to hug her
And then hug her again and
Hold her hands in mine because
I don’t want to leave just yet. I’m
Not going to turn around and hold her
One more time before I walk out the door
To my car.

This isn’t how it’s supposed to be.

I’m still going to think about her
All the way home, and when I go
To bed. And the next morning and
All of the next day. And when I
Go to bed.

This is how it’s supposed to be.